How To Balance Working Full-Time And Caring For An Elderly Parent

Key Takeaways:

• Solutions for Managing Work and Life: Learn how to make a flexible routine, talk to your boss about caregiving, and balance taking care of someone while working a full-time job.

• Support and Resources: Find out about tools, community help, and professional services that can make caregiving easier for you.

• Self-Care and Long-Term Strategies: Understand why taking care of yourself is important and how to plan so you can keep helping your loved one for a long time without getting too tired.

Balancing a full-time job and taking care of an elderly parent can be really hard. It can feel overwhelming and lonely at times. Taking care of both your job and your parent needs a lot of patience and planning. If you don’t have a good plan, it can be easy to feel tired and stuck. Sometimes joining caregiver support programs can help. Here’s one to consider:

Building Better CaregiversⓇ is a six-week online program designed to support and empower caregivers. It offers education and support in a convenient, online setting. We understand the difficulties and challenges of being a caregiver, that’s why we offer Building Better Caregivers as a tool to help make life a little easier for caregivers and less isolating.

Caregivers can join at any time, work at their own pace, and participate whenever they want. Each group is made up of 30 caregivers who connect through weekly lessons, discussion boards, and one-on-one conversations, offering one another tips and support for their personal caregiving challenges.

The program is led by trained staff members many of whom have been caregivers themselves. These leaders guide discussions, share personalized resources, and keep workshops safe and supportive. 

Building Better Caregivers has been recognized as a proven program by the Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging and the Family Caregiving Alliance. 

“It was very helpful to learn things I might not have known and get tips and support from the others in the group. It helps just knowing there is someone who knows what you’re going through and can offer helpful tips, not just listen.”

– Building Better Caregivers Participant

Understanding The Challenges Of Balancing Work And Elderly Care

Taking care of an elderly parent while working full-time can be really hard. You may have to juggle things like finding time for both your job and helping with things like doctor visits or daily tasks. This can make you feel tired, stressed, or worried about money.

It’s important to know that it’s normal to face these challenges. By understanding what’s hard about balancing both, you can ask for help and make changes to make things easier. Knowing that it’s okay to need help can also make you feel less guilty if you can’t do everything perfectly.

Creating A Flexible Routine To Manage Responsibilities

Having a routine that is both organized and flexible is really important when you're balancing work and taking care of someone. Here’s how you can make it work:

Assess Your Commitments

Look at all the things you need to do each day and week. Include work, taking care of your parent, and personal time. This will help you see how your time is spent and find areas where you might be able to improve.

Use Time-Management Tools

You can use calendars, task apps, or simple to-do lists to help organize your time. These tools can help you set aside specific times for taking care of your parent, work, and self-care.

Prioritize Tasks By Importance And Urgency

Some things need to be done right away, like doctor’s appointments or important work meetings. Other things can wait. Start with the most important tasks first so you don’t get overwhelmed.

Schedule Dedicated Caregiving Time

Pick specific times during the day to take care of things like giving medicine, making meals, or helping with exercises. This will help you keep a routine for your parent and avoid surprises.

Incorporate Flexibility In Your Routine

Add extra time in your schedule for unexpected things like health issues or delays. This helps you stay on track even if something doesn’t go as planned.

Communicate Clearly With Everyone Involved

Tell your family, your boss, and your parent (if they can understand) about your schedule. When everyone knows when you’re free, it helps set clear expectations and avoid confusion.

Reevaluate And Adjust Regularly

Things can change quickly when you’re taking care of someone. Check your routine every so often and make changes as needed to keep up with what’s going on.

Talking With Your Employer About Your Situation

Talking to your boss is important when you’re trying to balance work and caring for someone. Many workplaces can offer flexibility or help, but you usually have to start the conversation. Here’s how to do it:

Understand Your Workplace Policies

Look at your company’s rules about family leave, flexible work hours, or caregiver help. Make sure you know the laws, like the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), if they apply to you.

Plan The Conversation

Before talking to your boss, think about what you need. Explain your caregiving duties and what changes you need, like working from home, adjusting your hours, or taking time off for doctor visits.

Choose The Right Time

Pick a calm time at work to talk to your boss so they have time to listen to you. Be professional and focus on how your ideas can still help you do your work well.

Be Honest But Professional

Talk about your caregiving needs without sharing too much personal information. Let your boss know that you’re still committed to your work and that flexibility will help you do your job better.

Propose Solutions, Not Just Problems

Offer ideas that could help both you and your employer. For example, you could suggest changing your work hours or asking for help with tasks when things are busy.

Utilize Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs)

Many companies have programs that can help you with caregiving, like counseling or resources. Check to see if your company offers this help.

Follow Up And Maintain Communication

Keep your boss informed if your caregiving needs change. Talking regularly can help make sure you keep getting the support you need.

Using Available Resources For Elderly Care

Getting help from outside resources can make caregiving much easier. Many local communities and groups offer services to help both caregivers and older people. Here’s how you can find and use these helpful resources:

Research Community Programs

Look for local groups that can help with things like delivering meals, taking your parent to doctor appointments, or providing care at home. Many non-profits and government programs offer these services for free or at a low cost.

Consider Professional Care Services

If you have the money, hiring a professional caregiver can help with daily tasks, personal care, or just keeping your parent company. Some options include part-time help at home or adult daycare centers where seniors can meet other people and do fun activities.

Explore Financial Assistance Options

Look into programs like Medicaid, veterans' benefits, or state help that might pay for some caregiving costs. You might also be able to get tax breaks for caregiving expenses.

Join Support Groups For Caregivers

Joining a support group can help you meet others who are going through the same things. These groups offer helpful advice, resources, and emotional support.

Use Technology For Elderly Care

Use tools like medical alert systems, apps that remind your parent to take medicine, or video calling to help manage care. Technology can make it easier to keep track of everything and stay connected.

Consult A Geriatric Care Manager

A geriatric care manager can help figure out what your parent needs, create a care plan, and suggest the best resources nearby. They can also help organize care from different providers.

Check Employer Benefits For Caregivers

Some employers offer caregiving help as part of their benefits. This might include access to counselors, financial planners, or discounts for elder care services.

The Importance Of Self-Care While Managing Dual Roles

Taking care of your elderly parent while working full-time can make you very tired if you don’t take care of yourself too. It’s really important to look after your own body and mind so you can keep going. Here’s how to make sure you take care of yourself too:

Acknowledge Your Limits

Understand that it’s okay if you can’t do everything perfectly. Recognize when you need a break and ask for help from family, friends, or other caregivers.

Set Aside Time For Yourself

Take regular breaks to do things you enjoy, like reading, exercising, or hanging out with friends. Even a little time to relax can help you feel better.

Maintain A Healthy Life

Make sure you’re eating good food, staying active, and getting enough sleep. Taking care of your body helps you have the energy you need for everything you do.

Practice Stress-Relief 

Try activities like meditation, yoga, or deep breathing to help you feel less stressed. These practices can help you stay calm when things get tough.

Seek Professional Support

If you’re feeling really overwhelmed, talking to a therapist or counselor can help. They can guide you through your feelings and help you manage your responsibilities.

Avoid Guilt About Taking Breaks

It’s okay to focus on yourself sometimes. If you don’t take care of yourself, it can be harder to take care of your parent, so don’t feel guilty for resting.

Build A Support Network

Find others who are going through the same thing. Talking to people who understand can help you feel better and give you useful advice.

Seeking Help From Family And Friends

Taking care of someone doesn’t have to be done alone. Asking family and friends for help can make things easier and help you feel better. Here’s how to get the support you need:

Identify Specific Tasks To Delegate

Make a list of things you need to do for caregiving and figure out what other people can help with, like picking up groceries, making food, or going with your parent to doctor visits. Giving clear tasks helps others know how they can help.

Have Open And Honest Conversations

Talk with your family and friends about the difficulties you’re facing. Let them know how their help can make things better for you and your parent.

Set Up A Caregiving Schedule

Work with family members to make a schedule for caregiving. For example, siblings can take turns visiting on weekends or helping with certain tasks.

Be Clear About Your Needs

When asking for help, be clear about what you need. Instead of saying, "I need help," say something like, "Could you stay with Dad on Thursdays so I can focus on work?"

Consider Family Meetings

Hold family meetings to talk about the caregiving plan, problems, and what everyone needs to do. This helps everyone understand each other and avoid confusion.

Accept Help When It’s Offered

If friends or family offer to help, say yes! Whether it’s bringing dinner or helping with housework, every bit of help can make things easier.

Join Community Or Religious Groups

You can also get help from people outside your family, like community groups or neighbors. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from others around you.

Planning For Emergencies And Unexpected Situations

Caring for an elderly parent involves preparing for the unexpected, such as medical emergencies or sudden changes in their condition. Having a plan in place can reduce stress and help you respond quickly. Here’s how to prepare:

Make An Emergency Contact List

Make a list of important people to call in case of an emergency, like doctors, family, and friends. Don’t forget to add phone numbers for hospitals, urgent care centers, and emergency services.

Have A Medical Information File

Keep a file with your parent’s medical information, like their health history, medicines they take, allergies, and insurance details. Make sure it’s easy to find if something urgent happens.

Create A Backup Plan For Caregiving

Find someone you trust who can help if you’re not available, like a friend, family member, or professional caregiver. Talk to them ahead of time so they know what to do if you need help.

Prepare An Emergency “Go Bag”

Pack a bag with important things like your parent’s medicines, ID, insurance cards, and basic toiletries. This way, you’ll be ready to go to the hospital quickly if needed.

Talk About Advance Directives

If you haven’t already, talk to your parent about what they want for their care if something happens. This could include a living will or choosing someone to make medical decisions for them if they can’t.

Keep Your Money Organized

Make sure bills, medical payments, and caregiving costs are organized and paid on time. Keeping things in order will help reduce stress if an emergency happens.

Check Your Plan Regularly

Things change over time, so look over your emergency plan every now and then to make sure it still works well and fits your current needs.

Long-Term Strategies For Balancing Work And Caregiving

As you take care of someone over time, it's important to make plans that help you stay balanced. These plans can help you stay organized, feel less stressed, and handle the changing needs of caregiving.

Look At Your Parent’s Needs Regularly

Your parent’s health and needs may change as time goes on. It’s a good idea to check in regularly to make sure their care plan matches how they feel and what they can do now.

Explore Long-Term Care Options

If your parent needs more help than you can provide at home, look into options like assisted living, nursing homes, or hiring a caregiver to live with them. It’s important to think about and plan for these changes ahead of time.

Financial Planning For Caregiving Costs

Long-term care can be expensive. Work with a financial advisor to budget for caregiving expenses and explore insurance options, benefits, or programs that can help make things more affordable. 

Build A Sustainable Work-Caregiving Balance

If your job becomes too hard to manage with caregiving, look for jobs that offer more flexibility or allow you to work from home. Talk to your boss about what you can realistically do, so you can set work goals that fit your situation.

Maintain A Strong Support System

Keep in touch with family, friends, and support groups for caregivers. Having a strong group of people around you can give you emotional help and practical support when you need it.

Educate Yourself On Elderly Care

Learn as much as you can about your parent’s health and how to care for them. The more you know, the easier it will be to take care of them in the long run.

Prepare For The Emotional Journey

Taking care of someone is not only physical, but also emotional. It’s okay to feel frustrated, sad, or even happy sometimes. If you need extra help with your feelings, talking to a counselor or therapist can be really helpful.

Set Long-Term Personal Goals

Remember to make time for your own dreams and goals. Whether it’s doing something you love, moving forward in your job, or enjoying time with family and friends, make sure you take care of yourself too.

Final Thoughts

Balancing a full-time job while caring for an elderly parent can be tough, but it can also be very rewarding. By understanding the challenges of managing both roles, setting up a flexible routine, asking for help, and using available resources, you can make it easier. Talking with your employer and family, planning for emergencies, and thinking ahead about long-term care will help support both you and your parent.

Most importantly, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Caring for yourself isn’t selfish—it helps you be the best caregiver while staying healthy. With the right planning, support from others, and a positive approach, you can find a balance that works and make the caregiving experience meaningful.

Talking to others who care for someone, too, can really help. You can join a group of other caregivers, either in person or online, where everyone shares their experiences and helps each other. These groups and support systems, like Building Better CaregiversⓇ, can make you feel less alone and give you useful advice on how to take care of your loved ones.

Frequently Asked Questions About Balancing Working Full-Time And Caring For An Elderly Parent

What are the signs that my caregiving responsibilities are affecting my work performance?

If you are missing deadlines, having trouble focusing, or need to take more time off work, it might mean caregiving is making work harder. It’s important to notice these signs early so you can find ways to fix them before they become bigger problems.

Can I claim tax benefits as a caregiver for my elderly parent?

Yes, you might be able to get tax benefits if you are taking care of your parent. If your parent is considered a dependent, you could get deductions or credits. It’s a good idea to ask a tax expert for help with this.

How can I make sure my elderly parent’s are safe while I’m at work?

You can make your home safer by adding things like grab bars, alarms, or medical alert systems. You might also ask a neighbor or hire someone to check on your parent while you are at work.

What should I do if my elderly parent refuses help from others?

Talk to your parent with understanding and explain that getting help can make things easier for both of you. If they still don’t want help, you can ask a doctor or counselor for advice.

How do I handle feelings of guilt when I can’t meet every caregiving demand?

Feeling guilty is normal, but remember that you’re doing your best. It’s okay to ask for help or take care of yourself too. Talking to other caregivers can help you feel better.

What legal documents should I have in place for elderly caregiving?

Important papers include a power of attorney, which lets someone make decisions for your parent, and a living will, which says what your parent wants if they get too sick. These papers can help in case of an emergency.

How can I balance the emotional demands of caregiving with my personal life?

It’s important to make time for yourself and do things you enjoy. Set boundaries between caregiving and personal time. It’s also helpful to talk to a counselor or rely on your friends and family for support.

What are affordable caregiving options for families on a tight budget?

Look for community programs, Medicaid, or nonprofit services that offer free or low-cost help. You can also consider adult daycare centers or sharing caregiving duties with others.

How do I navigate sibling disagreements about caregiving responsibilities?

Talk with your family about who will do what and agree on expectations. Try to stay calm and focus on finding solutions. If there are still disagreements, a family counselor can help you work things out.

What should I do if my parent’s care needs suddenly increase?

Look at your parent’s care plan and figure out what extra help they need. You might need to bring in professional caregivers, use respite care, or consider long-term care facilities to help with their increased needs.